You start the game, you're just digging to get away from something. When you disappear in a game, it's like you're digging a hole downward as far as you can go. I was using it to get away from all this stuff. I think I robbed me of my own enjoyment because I was putting all this stuff.
Not to get away from something." Because in a way, what I was doing was using games as a crutch and I was putting a lot of unfair pressure on my own gaming. It was an incredible feeling because I started to realize, "I can just enjoy these to enjoy them. I could tell I was just enjoying the game to enjoy it. Because I could start to tell the difference. Just to see if I would still lose myself, unhealthily, in a way. So I started playing a game or two in 2008ish just to see if that feeling would come back. This was just, "I'm ignoring everything around me to play this game." The world around me would disappear, and in a way that can be the sign of a good game. Before, when I played games it would be all that I focused on. So I figured I would try a game or two to see if I had that same all-encompassing escapism. Once all these doors opened in my mind and I started getting rid of the depression, I started getting rid of all this anger that I had been holding onto that I didn't even realize for decades, and I was shedding all the anxiety - I mean, it's not totally gone, but once I started getting rid of that I was like, "Okay, well, games gave me a lot of enjoyment." About late 2007ish, early 2008ish I started having a lot of breakthroughs with therapy. I had gone to several therapists over the years, and before this I wasn't really ready for therapy so I didn't really listen. Don't just go to your first therapist and stick with them. Anyone listening to this: If you're thinking of therapy, it's so important. I had several breakthroughs in therapy because I found a good therapist. But with games and things like PS+, you don't even necessarily have to even do anything and suddenly you have.
#Sid meiers starships not playing after the developers page tv#
Although nowadays it's a little different, you don't have to go to a store to buy a TV show. I kinda sorta replaced one addiction with the other, but because television doesn't demand as much of you, it left enough space in my brain to still work on my issues. Television is so much less engaging than videogaming, I think. But gaming is not the same as television. I'll be honest: I kinda replaced it a little bit with television for a little while. I used to go to forums all the time, and I stopped doing that. I don't know how I did it, but I stopped cold turkey for about a year and a half-ish. I'm enjoying them, but I'm using them to escape my issues that I'm dealing with. In one of those early therapy sessions, I came to the realization that I'm using games to escape. I'm done." That's how it was for many years. But also, if I wanted a game, I bought it. There was no filter. "I want it. I had bankrupted myself several times because I have no concept of money and I grew up with compulsive spenders. I started hanging out with a group of Firefly/ Serenity fans and they started opening my eyes to the fact that, "Hey, I'm worth a little more." I ended that relationship, I started going to therapy in around 2006, and I realized in one of my first sessions of therapy that I'm spending way too much time and money on videogames.
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